What to Say During a Toddler Tantrum: 30 In-the-Moment Scripts for the Kitchen Floor
Thirty short scripts the adult says out loud during a meltdown, when your own brain is offline. Body-first, not advice-first. Designed to be said in six seconds or fewer. Pairs with the Toddler Big Feelings Cards, which are for the after.
Instant download. Print at home on A4 or US Letter. Your receipt and re-download link arrive by email.
Look inside
Pages from the file you'll download, not a mock-up.
The Big Feelings Cards are for the after. This is for the during.
Most “what to say to your tantruming toddler” advice is about three sentences long, requires you to remember a four-step framework, and assumes your brain is online. It is not. The child’s brain is offline, your brain is mostly offline, and someone is screaming on the floor of the grocery store.
These scripts are designed to be said in six seconds or fewer, by a person whose own nervous system is partially in the meltdown. They do not require you to be the calm parent in the parenting book. They require you to be a person standing in the room.
What’s inside
Thirty scripts. Each one is short. Each one is meant to be said out loud, even if it feels weird at first. The body recognizes them faster than the brain does.
The scripts are organized by what you are seeing:
- For the screaming, ten scripts. “I see you. I’m right here. You don’t have to be quiet yet.”
- For the hitting / kicking / throwing, ten scripts. Body-first. “I’m going to hold your hands so they stay soft.” Not punishment, redirection.
- For the going-limp / refusing-to-move, ten scripts. “I’m not going to leave you. We can stay here as long as you need.”
Plus:
- A “what NOT to say” page, with the four sentences that almost always escalate. “Calm down.” “You’re fine.” “Stop crying.” “If you don’t stop, we’re leaving.”
- A “for the adult, after” page. What to say to yourself once the storm has passed. Repair is more important than perfection.
Who this is for
You, with a toddler who has discovered the word “no” and the volume of their own voice.
You, with a five-year-old who is in a transition (new sibling, new school, parent who is more tired than usual) and is leaking the difficulty everywhere.
You, the calm-parent on instagram, when your real-life kid finally meets the parent inside you. (We see you. The scripts work for us too.)
Not for: a child who is in true distress that does not pass with time and care. If you are concerned about your child’s regulation, please see a pediatric provider.
Format
Instant-download PDF, US Letter + A4. Print as cards on cardstock and keep a deck in your bag. Personal use only.
From Soothemade Notes, a small apothecary of printables, planners, and cards for the unphotographed parts of new parenthood. Made slowly, in plain language.
