Single Mom Postpartum Planner: For the Version of You Doing It Alone

The available postpartum planning materials almost universally assume two parents. They use phrases like “while your partner does the night feed” and “ask your partner to take the baby.” For about a quarter of mothers in the US, that script does not apply.

This planner is for you. The version of you who is doing this on your own. Whether that is by choice, by donor, by surrogacy, by separation, by loss, by an absent partner, by a partner who is deployed, or by a partner who is not yet (or never going to be) the partner you would have chosen.

This planner does not have an opinion about the path. It assumes you are here, doing this, with whoever you do have, and that the work of postpartum is large and is yours.

What’s inside

Forty-four pages, undated:

• The village-build page. The realistic question: who will be in your house for the first six weeks? Three rows for “in-house help (paid or family)”, three for “drop-by friends”, three for “phone-call lifelines”. You will be surprised how often the village is bigger than it feels at 3am.
• The night-shift solo plan. How to set up the room so 100% of the night work, by you, is as efficient as it can be. The bedside snack station. The two-bottle warmer. The “I need to be horizontal” rule.
• The “who do I call for what” list. Twelve scenarios. Postpartum nurse line. A friend who can come for an hour. A neighbor with a key. The lactation line. The 24-hour pharmacy. Crisis lines. Each gets a row.
• The financial-aid index. US-focused. WIC. Local home-visiting nurse programs (some states have these free). Diaper banks. Crisis funds. Single-parent grant programs. Postpartum-specific assistance. Look these up once, in advance.
• The food plan. How to set up the freezer in week 37. How to use it in weeks 1-3. The “drop on the porch” script for whoever you can ask.
• A small-business / work re-entry page. For when you are also self-employed or trying to keep the lights on while feeding the baby.
• A page for the friends and family. The list of specific things they can do, by category. Take out the trash. Walk the dog. Sit with the baby for two hours. Bring food. Do not bring opinions.
• The “what about the other parent” page. Optional, only if you have a relationship to maintain or are co-parenting from a distance. Boundary scripts. Communication scripts. What goes through your lawyer if you have one.
• The check-in page, week one, two, four, eight, twelve. So you can see your own pattern without anyone else seeing it.
• A page that is just for you. A page about identity. Who you are now. What you wanted. What you have. What you are doing well, for the record, by yourself.

Format

Instant-download PDF, US Letter + A4. Personal use only.

From Soothemade Notes, a small apothecary of printables, planners, and cards for the unphotographed parts of new parenthood. Made slowly, in plain language.